My one year old son ran flailing his arms at his shadow, morning sunlight filtering in through the blinds. It’s a game he’s loved lately; jumping at the figment of himself.
I laughed... “you can’t catch it, buddy! It’s not real, it’s a shadow!”
It’s not real...
My own words haunted me that day.
It’s not real? What is a shadow, really?
It’s real in that it’s there, a form we can see- but it’s not an object we can capture, and it’s substance is nothing aside from a cast.
It’s partial darkness. And what is darkness, but absence of light?
Can you “make” darkness by any other method than removing light?
Light is as real as you can get- as palpable as the warmth on your cheek and the blinding tears in your eyes from a glance at the sun; as cozy as a candle or as warm as a fireplace. Light is energy.
Remove light- darkness exists.
It’s in the partial absence of light- obscurity- that shadows come alive, and monsters come out of closets.
But light a match in a dark room, or shine a flashlight on a shadow- darkness evaporates. Light wins every time.
Life is not so simple as light and dark; black and white- there are gray areas; obscurities, uncertainties.
It’s easy to get caught up in uncertainty, in shadowy gray areas- because there is some light, some truth there, you see. And we like to lean into that part, try and convince ourselves that the darkness is not so bad, the waters are not so tainted... but the longer we spend in the shadows, the harder it becomes to distinguish day from night.
How do we dispell a shadow?
With more light. More truth.
The world today may be full of uncertainty. The path in front of you may appear overcast with lurking shadows.
What do you know to be true? What are your core truths? Beliefs?
Love and grace have the power to cast away doubt and fear- and shadow.
We don’t know what tomorrow looks like and maybe not even the next step of today. The events of 2020 have left us reeling. But tomorrow has never been promised to any one of us.
In the past few weeks, we’ve lost two people (not even coronavirus related) due to separate, unexpected but both tragic and unforeseen circumstances.
I’ve never hugged my babies so fiercely; appreciated the soft smell and texture of their skin, breathing in the whisps of their sun bleached hair...
It could easily be me.
In a car accident tomorrow, or by coronavirus in a week... but those are shadow thoughts. My certainties- my truths- are that I love my babies. God is still in control, same as He has always been and humans have never been.
Every moment is precious. The future may be uncertain, but we can make the most of today.
And by that- I mean not living in fear but not brash in our thought or action, either.
Truth.
Sunlight. Warmth.
Staying out of the depression where shadows lie- because they do lie.
You will find yourself living in a world that seems darker than it really is.
This 2020 year has not been easy. There are so many things that may have carried weight before that now seem trivial.
Be kind to yourself.
We’ve all been forced to change as people, forced to peel our eyelids back, and it hasn’t all been comfortable.
Sometimes we think resting in the shadows may feel more comfortable-
But we all need the warmth of sunlit truth.
And water your garden— I’m talking self care. Tend the weeds (I’m still trying to define this for myself).
And remember there is always, always good.
Nothing is ever as bad as it seems... (or as good- I’m not telling you to wear rose colored glasses- truth can be uncomfortable. We all know the sun can burn.)
But it’s in the light you’ll find the reality of truth.
And remember- light wins over darkness every single time.
